The most annoying finance article in the world is the one that tells us how much money we could save by skipping out on the daily $4 Starbucks latte. However, there is a similar opportunity to save more money that you’ve never considered. Not everyone drinks coffee—especially Starbucks—but everyone poops.
Have you ever thought about how much money you could save if you only pooped at work versus pooping at home? Look no further.
Let’s walk through the calculation:
Average poops: Assuming you average 1 poop per day for 5 workdays, this comes out to 5 poops per week or 250 poops per year (I used 50 weeks with 2 weeks of vacation).
Water bill: My toilet offers two flush options: number 1 and number 2. For this example, we will use number 2. My toilet averages 1.6 gallons per flush if I push the number 2 button.
You should also be washing your hands for a minimum of 20 seconds after each restroom visit. I put a measuring cup underneath my faucet and calculated how much water I would use on an average wash time of 20 seconds. I came up with 0.25 gallons/wash.
Flushes: 250 poops/year x 1 flush/poop x 1.6 gallons/flush x $5.56/1,000 gallons = $2.22/year
Washing Hands: 250 poops/year x 1 hand wash/poop x 0.25 gallons/wash x $5.56/1,000 gallons = $0.35/year
Wastewater bill: My wastewater rate is $7.58/1,000 gallons. So using the numbers calculated above I get the following costs for wastewater.
Flushes: 250 poops/year x 1 flush/poop x 1.6 gallons/flush x $7.58/1,000 gallons = $3.03/year
Washing Hands: 250 poops/year x 1 hand wash/poop x 0.25 gallons/wash x $7.58/1,000 gallons = $0.47/year
Electricity bill: I installed a fart fan in my bathroom that I wired to run whenever the light is on. So, unless I poop in the dark, the lights and fan are on at the same time and using electricity which needs to be accounted for. I have a Panasonic model that is very quiet—almost too quiet—and operates at 21.1 watts.
I have two light bulbs in the bathroom. I use Philips LED bulbs which have a very small power consumption—only 8 watts.
For this calculation, we need to know how long the average poop takes. Obviously, this is variable, but I typically like to sit down and make a couple of memes until my legs start to feel numb. This is approximately 15 minutes on average.
My electricity costs are $0.10219/kWh.
Fart Fan: 250 poops/year x 15 minutes/poop x 1 hour/60 minutes x 21.1 watts x 1 kW/1,000 watts x $0.10219/kWh = $0.13/year
Light bulbs: 250 poops/year x 15 minutes/poop x 1 hour/60 minutes x 8 watts/bulb x 2 bulbs x 1 kW/1,000 watts x $0.10219/kWh = $0.10/year
Hand soap: We use Mrs. Meyers liquid hand soap. On Amazon, it’s currently priced at $2.10/fl oz. The average person takes 1.5 mL of soap from a dispenser.
250 poops/year x 1 hand wash/poop x 1.5 mL soap/hand wash x $2.10/fl oz soap x 1 fl oz/29.5735 mL = $26.63/year
Toilet paper/wipes: Toilet paper is an investment in our household. We use Charmin Ultra Strong Clean Touch toilet paper that is currently $0.34/100 sheets. The average consumer uses 10 sheets per use. I probably use twice the average—especially if I’m covering the toilet seat with paper because I don’t know whose nasty ass has been on my seat.
Sometimes it’s also nice to use a wet wipe or two for that refreshing feeling. We like to use WaterWipes which currently run at $0.06/wipe.
Toilet paper: 250 poops/year x 20 sheets/poop x $0.34/100 sheets = $17/year
Wipes: 250 poops/year x 1 wet wipe/poop x $0.06/wet wipe = $15/year
Plumber: Some people do more damage to their toilets than others depending on how frequently you visit Chipotle. A safe assumption would be that you’d have to call a plumber once per year.
Plumber: $150/year
Scented sprays/candles: If you don’t have a fart fan or just want to be courteous to everyone using the bathroom after you drop a bomb, you should be using a scented spray or candles. Poo-Pouri spray on Amazon has approximately 200 sprays per 4 oz bottle.
We’ll assume we go through 1 Scentorini candle set per year. Sage and rosemary are fantastic smells, believe me.
Scented spray: 250 poops/year x 1 spray/poop x $11.50/200 sprays = $14.38/year
Candle set: $16.99/year
Toilet bowl cleaner: Pooping 250 times per year in your own toilet will definitely leave some residue that needs to be cleaned up. This 4 pack of Clorox would probably last all year.
Toilet bowl cleaner: $11.99/year
Opportunity cost: According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), the median wage for workers in the United States in the first quarter of 2019 was $905 per week or $47,060 per year for a 40-hour workweek.
250 poops/year x 15 minutes/poop x 1 hour/60 minutes x $47,060/year x 1 year/50 weeks x 1 week/40 hours = $1,470.62
TOTAL YEARLY COST: $2.22 + $0.35 + $3.03 + $0.47 + $0.13 + $0.10 + $26.63 + $17 + $15 + $150 + $14.38 + $16.99 + $11.99 + $1,470.62 = $1,728.91
Now compound this at 5% per year over a 30 year period and you’d have saved over $100,000.
Boss makes a dollar. I make a dime. That’s why I poop on company time.
Please use the calculator below if you’d like to calculate how much you could save per year if you took a deuce at work. Calculator courtesy of @dataPK on Twitter. Also, check out some of his other informational calculators on his website.
This is post #47. You can follow me on Twitter or Instagram or sign up for my free newsletter here. Also please check out my Amazon page for a full reading list.