10 Things I Hate About (You) Twitter Finance

"You" is used below to indicate "you people" on Twitter Finance. "You people" know who "you" are.

  1. When it comes time for a market correction you make sure to let everyone know that if they would have followed your advice, $29.99 newsletter, or real time alert they would have been fine and avoided disaster.
  2. You are an "expert" in every facet of the economy (Greece, oil, China, Central Banking) yet you graduated with an Art History degree from some community college and live in your parent's basement using Time Warner Cable's 5MB/s internet speed.
  3. You put #timestamps where #timestamps are not needed and then delete tweets when it turns out you were wrong.
  4. You tweet too much and don't click the buy button enough.
  5. After something bad happens, you tweet archaic quotes from 3rd century B.C. Roman poets that no one cares about. (e.g. "Fortune favors the brave." -Aenied)
  6. You consistently quote tweet or RT followers who give you praise for nailing the bottom. (e.g. Thanks! RT @XYZ Great call on $AAPL! Now I'm rich! You nailed it!)
  7. You say "I nailed it" way too much.
  8. You only post about the trades you made money on.  You never post about the trades you lost money on.  This is the oldest trick in the book to make people think you are actually good at what you do and that they should follow you.  They shouldn't.
  9. You incorrectly say $STUDY and annoyingly use it too much.
  10. You post charts that look like this:

If you find that you are pointing to yourself on 5 or more of the bullet items above please delete your Twitter account immediately.

Thanks,

#Rampstamp